I was flipping through my phone on the 2nd of June and I saw a saved chat from last year, June 5, 2017.
2017 was a year that was’nt “smooth” for me. There seemed to be a lot of ‘tumbling’, and unpredictable situations that affected my safe nest, keeping a grateful heart was the toughest thing in such situations.
I had accommodation challenges, and it disturbed my state of mind a lot. I get comfortable in a place for a while, and….I move again! I didn’t like it one bit, but there also seemed to be a lesson for me to learn in that phase of my life. June 2nd last year, I moved. Again.
June 2nd was like the final straw that affected my ‘camel’s back’! Hahahah. I was in much pain I couldn’t even care anymore. My heart was cold, cold towards people, and the Lord especially. I was working long hours without a pause, I could go without food and not feel it, I was NUMB.
One of those days, I perceived the presence of the Lord in my room, strongly. He has always been there, but there was a heightened awareness. It felt as if the Lord was looking at me and asking me for my perspective. It felt like He was saying “now that you are in pain, what do you think about me?”
Of course I didn’t care! What could I possibly think?! I couldn’t say “Lord you are wicked”, but….. neither could I confess He is good! I didn’t care anymore.
In that moment I felt a pain in my heart, so sharp I couldn’t breathe. In that moment of pain, against my feelings, I started saying “God is good”. My heart was convicted. I couldn’t feel it, I’m not even sure I believed it, maybe I did believe deep down, maybe the Lord saw beyond the strong walls I put up, but I needed to tell my soul, God is good! Looking back now, I believe the Lord saved my heart from a dangerous path.
For weeks, I wasn’t convinced, it just didn’t add up. My circumstances and “good” weren’t looking like they related, but I kept confessing the Truth, regardless of how I felt or didn’t.
Seasons come in our lives when we may not have an accurate explanation for our experiences. Seasons when you can’t see how all things are working for your good. I couldn’t see the “good” in my experience. Yet, against my pain and logic, I kept confessing to my soul that God is Good. Maybe I cared deep down and I didn’t know how much I really cared.
I came out of that season with a strong conviction about the goodness of the Lord. Regardless of my opinion of Him, He won’t change. God is good. That is final. That is Eternal, God is good.
A year later (June 1, 2018), I stumbled on the record of that experience, and I realized I am in a better place. I am happier than I was last year, I am more grateful. I am in a more matured place, compared to last year. My narrow perspectives about the Lord have been adjusted to a good measure. I am much better.
We only get to experience God in a different way, only when we are in some unique situations. God doesn’t do evil, neither is He mischievous towards us. But our situations present us the opportunity to experience God , and connect with Him in a way we haven’t before.
It was during that experience last year, I began to understand what it meant to be comforted by the Lord, even in “the valley of many shadows”, the valley of questions, fears and doubts. But I came out with a treasure, I knew God in a way I never did before, and that treasure is mine to keep.
Every phase of my life is an opportunity to see the Lord in a way I haven’t seen Him before.
Our experiences touch God, but they don’t change Him. God is good eternally.
This is me saying I am grateful. I am grateful because He didn’t change, even when my heart was greatly tempted to be bitter towards Him, orr…. was I bitter? Oh well.
Looking at that experience from a different place, I see that the Lord was there all along, holding me.
Sometimes we don’t see the Lord in our situations until we are out on the other side. We don’t see his faithfulness in the midst of the red Sea, domineering walls of water looking like they would crash on you at any moment, until you are on the other side and you see His footprints walking with you all along!
God is Good, and you would only know after you have tasted and you have seen. The experience of his goodness is FOR YOUR GOOD.
Sometimes the opportunity to taste and to see comes in the dark moments of our lives, moments of pain, questions, doubts and fear. Such situations are opportunities for you to taste and to see that the Lord is good.
I just want to encourage you to be DELIBERATE about experiencing God. Deliberately see the kindness of the Lord
I have learnt not to judge God through my circumstances. I choose to TASTE and to SEE that the Lord is good. It is something you do intentionally, whether it feels like it or not.
I am committed to Tasting and experiencing the goodness of the Lord in every situation. That should our Heartitude.
Psalms 34:8 O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.(KJV)
It is an act of trust to deliberately choose to taste and to see.
One thing I owned through that experience was my TASTE of the goodness of the Lord. I experienced the Lord in a very intimate way that I haven’t before that time.
I deliberately invested my pain into INTIMACY. I invested my pain in the secret place.
Regardless of the pain, I choose to cry my heart out at His feet. If I would throw tantrums, it would be at His feet, and when I am done wailing, I choose to be carried by the Lord, to find comfort in His arms.
I choose to be a child again.
Today, I pray you find strength to TASTE and to SEE. I pray you find strength to be DELIBERATE about experiencing God. I pray you find grace to invest your seasons in the abounding rivers of Love, the ever flowing fountain of compassion, intimacy, and love in the heart of the Father
Taste and See, you would know the Lord is good.
God bless you.
Omo Oba.